Thursday, December 15, 2011

Slow news days

For the first time in pregnancy I have experienced slow news days. Literally nothing is happening.

Last Thursday I did my follow up blood test and my HCG levels had more than doubled to 420 - which is great and exactly what should be happening in those early weeks. In my three previous pregnancies I had spotting/bleeding to different degrees by this time. But this time, I have nothing.

This week Matt even asked when my next test will be. I had to tell him I don't need to have any tests because nothing is going wrong. We were both kind of laughing about it. How strange it was that I wasn't running in to do blood tests every other day and then waiting for the result. I told Matt that I actually don't feel like I'm pregnant because my experience of pregnancy has always been so stressful and worrying. Without the worry, it feels just like normal.

We do have a viability ultrasound referral. Unfortunately due to the Christmas holidays I can't go into the specialist's office for the viability scan. The good thing about going to an ultrasound place is they have better equipment so we should be able to see the baby (or babies - slightly freaking out about that now it seems it could be a real possibility). The bad thing is if something is wrong I then need to track down a doctor to interpret the scan.

I know exactly what I want to see during the ultrasound. A great big strong heart beat. A baby (or babies - still freaking out) that measures within a day or two of the size it should be. I want to see a conclusive result so we know the baby (or babies...) is well and doing what it should do.

Occasionally I catch myself and I know I am really excited. It feels like this time it is for real. Then I have days, like today, where I wake up and think "maybe it's blighted ovum, I've never had that happen and that would be just our luck." There is no reason to believe this is blighted ovum, I just can't believe that finally this could be it.

Today I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant and everything is looking good, although it is still super early days.

The old adage no news is good news rings true.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

How long can the lady resist?

I out did myself, in my opinion, making it all the way to Saturday before home pregnancy testing. I forgot about testing first thing in the morning, so I peed without the test. Then a few minutes slipped past and I remembered I was going to test. For about 1 minute I thought, oh well, I'll just wait until tomorrow. Then for the next 10 minutes I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Once again I decided to stretch one of my rules, the don't test on anything other than first thing in the morning pee rule. I figure if I can squeeze out a little more pee right now, then it is still really first thing in the morning pee and will still contain the stronger hormone. Back to the loo I go, with my expensive in stream pee test. As I'm trying to squeeze out my last bit of morning pee I start to worry I'm not going to get enough pee on the stick to get a result. Damn. I will have wasted one of my tests by getting a tiny bit of wee on it. I resort to the old school cup collection method, so that the precious first thing in the morning pee wasn't just wasted.

With my cup balanced in the sink I dip the fancy instream test. The test screen starts to change immediately. I'm so pleased I went to pee capture mode, I would never have got enough pee on stick otherwise. I see the control line appearing straight away, quickly followed by a faint positive pregnancy test line. The faint line is becoming stronger. It is definitely there.

I can't believe how good this test was. The result came up so quickly, no need to discard and pull back out of the bin later. The expensive test was so worth it.

I tell Matt and I'm reasonably excited. He smiles, but doesn't seem too excited. It is too early. I want to be excited, like I was the first time we were pregnant. A little part of me is. The rest of me feels nervous.

On Sunday I started to think perhaps my test was wrong. Perhaps because I got a little bit a of pee on it, and then went for pee capture mode, maybe the test got confused and counted my hcg twice. I'm not even sure if this is possible, but I decide I must re-test with first morning pee on Monday.

On Monday I decide not to mess around with in flow and go straight to pee capture mode to prevent loss of precious early morning pee. I'm convinced the more expensive in flow tests are better, but then fail to use them that way (hmmmm...). The test quickly returns a positive result again. I'm reassured, I'm definitely pregnant.

I decide I have to speak to the fertility specialist as mid week last week my belly button started leaking out a small amount of yuk again. I confess to him that I've done a home pregnancy test and that now I'm worried about the return of the ooze somehow impacting the new pregnancy. We again discuss the colour, smell and amount of yuk coming from my belly button. He decides I should do my blood test on Tuesday so we know where I'm at (yay! Blood test brought forward 4 days!) and I should pick up a script for antibiotics. I don't need to take them right now, but hold onto the script in case the ooze picks up.

My blood test result today confirms I am pregnant. HCG was 178. That's fine for 4 weeks pregnant. Clearly it is way too early to tell anyone I'm pregnant, so shhhhhhh, it's a secret. Let's hope we make the 12/13 week hurdle and then I'll let the cat out the bag.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Obsessive much?

Transfer was less than 1 week ago. When do you think I might have started thinking about home pregnancy testing? I'd say, about 1 week BEFORE transfer!!!!

I just can't help myself. I'm a terrible home pregnancy addict when I reach this point. Having been through a full cycle recently, I have had some learnings that I'm already trying to implement.

Firstly, no more cheap pregnancy tests. The day after transfer I invested in an expensive pharmacy (no more crappy supermarket) 3 pack of pee on a stick tests. These ones are supposed to pick up traces of HCG at fairly low levels. Why do I need a 3 pack? I held the 2 pack in my hand for some time, but then I thought about how long it was between then and the blood test. I also thought, even if I do get a test that is positive, I will no doubt need to test again the next day just to be sure. And if I got a negative test, I'd definitely need to test again, and then if the second test was positive I'd still need to do the third to be sure. What if I got two negative tests? So you see, there was no way around it, I needed the 3 pack or two 2 packs. I felt I showed restraint. I hope I don't end up buying more to feed my addiction!

Secondly, don't test too early. Testing too early made me feel really bad last time. That first negative rocked me, and then I became crazy bin diving test re-check lady. Today I resisted a very strong urge to test. I had that packet open and was looking at the three tests, but said no, not yet. I initially told myself I could do my first test on Friday after transfer, that's tomorrow. I'm wondering when should I test. Blood test is still a week from tomorrow. But by the numbers, tomorrow will be 11 days since ovulation. The test packet says 99% accurate for test taken from 1 day before period is due, that would be Sunday. Because I'm using progesterone medications, I shouldn't get my period even though it would be due, so I can't just wait for a period to show up. Can I wait until Sunday? Should I go with my original plan and test Friday and then re-test on Sunday? That is sounding like a plan to me. That way if Sunday is negative, I can retest on Tuesday (trying to obey my 2-days before re-testing rule).

Maybe I should have bought two of the 2 test packs...