Sunday, October 31, 2010

Two year anniversary

This week Matt and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. For my part, it has generally been an excellent two years. We've been very happy. We've settled into our little home. We've grown together.

I remember before I met Matt and I thought about the ideal settling down situation, I used to think if I married, I'd like at least two years married together, before complicating the situation with having children. I guess I dreamed up this perfect scenario when I was younger, because it is only been during this week of our second anniversary that I've really remembered it. So this week I've reflected on some of the good things about this extra time we have together without children.

Primarily it is a selfish thing. I've had two years of not having to share Matt with anyone. And for the both of us, we've been able to continue to enjoy, although less regularly, some of our vices (mostly resulting in terrible hangovers). I expect having children would have certainly slowed us down a lot more.

We've also gone through the incredible high and subsequent low of our first pregnancy and miscarriage. I am emotionally fairly solitary when it comes to the unhappy spectrum of emotions. I prefer to deal with these things on my own. But over the last year I've had the quiet support of my husband. Going through this together has certainly brought us together more.

One clear advantage is the balance sheet. Last year we lived large and this year we've been able to afford (just!) for Matt to study full-time, working only during the holidays. The skills we have developed this year to better manage our finances will also be handy when we do have children and have only one income again. But I'm already planning for what we will be able to fund next year when the both of us are working full-time again.

Of course celebrating two years of marriage also marks two years of trying to conceive, but this hasn't been top of mind this week. Instead I've been focussed on the benefits of those two years with just the two of us.

PS: Tomorrow I'm going to head in for another blood test in preparation for my Tuesday appointment with the fertility specialist.

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