In our very first appointment we all giggled and thought it was funny when the fertility specialist advised the 'love doctor' would give us a nod and a wink when the blood test revealed the LH spike that means that the next day I will ovulate. In fact last month literally we were told "all go for tonight". It really is strange to have someone (and now anyone who reads this) being across what (and more specially when) we are getting funky.
I love knowing that I am ovulating and when I'm ovulating, but it does mean spontaneity and romance have disappeared from our sex life. But what surprises more is that even with the lack of spontaneity and romance the quality has improved remarkably.
I guess the spontaneity had left some time earlier. Something kicked in after trying to conceive for months/years, where resentment, or anger, or disappointment seemed to underpin much of our baby-making efforts. And then there were the questions about the activities undertaken by one or the other partner, that seemed counter to the baby-making efforts. So for me, Matt would ask questions like why should we even bother when this weekend we are going to be going to [INSERT ANY PARTY] and you're going to drink a bottle of wine, thus undoing the efforts. And for me, I'd wonder, perhaps I've had too much caffeine this week, or sugar, or haven't done enough exercise, or I've worked too long, or drank a glass of wine at lunch....and so on and so on and so on....
Having access to information from the fertility specialist certainly helps because at least now we know our timing is on the money - hence removing a whole bunch of thinking about getting that right. Also given that both Matt and I have quit smoking ages ago and drink very little most weeks the fertility specialist has advised the occasional bender isn't going to be a big fertility issue, reducing the worry about the times we let our hair down.
Less stress about the peripheral issues seems to have made things a lot better for us in the bedroom.
Right now I'm still feeling positive, having just gone through the fertile window and knowing that this could be the month that it all come together again. For those that haven't figured out how this works just yet, in a week or so I'm going to be on the rapid down hill slope in the hideous waiting period - but you'll hear more about that when I get there.
Today I picked up my prescription for the injections I have to start giving myself later this week. I have a short appointment with the fertility specialist to learn how to do this on Thursday morning.
It is hard to put a lot this down, so thanks again to all the great emails, comments and messages of support.