A month has passed now since the curette and I'm in my fourth week back to work. I'm finding it hard to get the balance right with my part-time hours and my project's deadlines. Without a doubt I'm working less hours, so that's good.
What I've noticed over the last week or so is that I'm finding it really hard to get back on track with the discipline around what I eat and getting some regular exercise. On top of this, after months and months of not drinking, I've got a taste for post-work vinos again.
It seems that earlier in the year my motivation was the best chance of IVF success, then with the gallbladder issue I had no choice but to be good. My frozen embryo transfer cycle came straight after and I was still on roll at that point. Even when everything turned pear-shaped, I was doing a couple walks a day on the beach. The post-op infection led to a range of other problem that meant everything went straight through me. Now that discipline is required to keep the weight from creeping back on, and preferably still going down, I just can't find any. Everyday I wake up with the best intentions and nail it, until about 6pm and then there are snacks, desserts, wine and all things calorie laden. Urrrghhhhh.
Last week Matt and I discussed when we should try again with our next frozen embryo transfer. I've already reached the point of wanting to try again as soon as possible and Matt is happy to try again if I feel up to it. I can't remember when the fertility specialist said I'll be to do another transfer, but I'm hoping it will soon.
This part-time experiment was about being and feeling healthier but it just isn't feeling that way. I've even caught a cold this week making me feel more run down. I've been trying acupuncture and while I'm happy with the needle component, I struggle with the chinese herb and dietary recommendations (ie no dairy), so I'm thinking about dropping it.
I guess I feel uncertain, about work, about my health and about the chance of success with our next frozen embryo transfer.