About us

Matt and I met in 2006, I was 30 years old - just! I'd finally moved on from the unsuccessful relationship that had dominated my 20's, that I'd been hoping would work out, but just never really went anywhere. In late 2008 Matt and I married and set about starting our own family.

Some might say I’m one of those women - mid 30’s, career progressing well, and now I want to have it all with a baby too.

Having spent from ages 20 to 33 trying not to get pregnant, I thought when it was time to get knocked up that killer sperm would be unleashed and ta-da a bun is in the oven.

A few years down the track we have had some ups and a lot of downs. In September 2010 I promised myself that I would start this blog if the month produced another barren egg. In October 2010 I published my first blog.

We've now had six pregnancies which have resulted in the subsequent loss of six babies in early pregnancy and our current pregnancy, that looks like it might actually go the distance.

Our dubious obstetric history commenced in 2009 with a miscarriage of a fetus with an extra chromosome. In 2011 was an ectopic pregnancy, that also resulted in me losing a fallopian tube. My third pregnancy was heterotopic, one baby was in my tube, the other in the uterus. My tube ruptured, resulting in the loss of my other fallopian tube and in the end the fetus in the uterus stopped developing as a result of having a couple of extra chromosomes. In January 2012 I miscarried the forth pregnancy, although it wasn't  trisomy, the doctor advised it is was most likely a genetic defect of some sort. In October 2012 our fifth pregnancy and sixth baby miscarried.

Out of embryos from my first round of IVF, in November 2012 I started the process of making a new batch of embryos. Following one unsuccessful transfer and a massive life shake up in the form of taking a redundancy from my permanent government job, in February 2013 we struck up our sixth pregnancy.

To recap pregnancy 1 & 2 were natural, pregnancy 3, 4, 5 & 6 were IVF. Since September 2011 I have no longer been able to conceive naturally, so we are IVF all the way now.

The social norm of not talking about wanting to get pregnant and trying to get pregnant and not even telling anyone you are pregnant for the first third of a pregnancy, means while I travel through this incredibly emotionally difficult time I don’t unload on my friends and colleagues like usual.

So right here I am exploring and unloading the undercurrents I am experiencing on my baby making mission. I can't believe I've now been writing this blog since 2010 and still haven't had a baby. I knew having a baby was going to be harder than I thought when I started writing, I just never imagined how aggravating, frustrating, emotionally draining, physically difficult and mentally challenging it would become.